(A deep breath, and here we go!)
Back in the Fall of 2012, I was contacted by representatives of Dear Kate about promoting their lingerie. I was offered an exclusive interview with Dear Kate founder Julie Sygiel, an exclusive discount code for you shoppers, and panties to review. However, it wasn’t to be.
After a series of emails in which I nudged for the interview answers, I was notified that despite the company having reached out to me, I was now not good enough. Nearly a month to the day after their initial contact, I was sent this email:
I’m so sorry to keep you waiting on the interview. The launch of Dear Kate has been going so well and the entire team could not be happier with the the love we’ve seen from bloggers like you and the traditional media. Julie has been getting lots of requests for interviews lately but some of the journalists from mainstream publications who we pitched early on are very specific about their requests for exclusives.
I’m sorry to say that we unfortunately won’t be able to do an interview on Slip of a Girl at the moment.
Naturally, I was more than disappointed. I felt rudely snubbed.
But it was more than the sour situation itself that left a bad taste in my mouth. Having been treated so disloyally by Dear Kate, I was feeling an especially strong need to protect another lingerie brand which had not only been very nice to me, but was in direct competition with Dear Kate.
Six years before the launch of Dear Kate, Emily Beck created Emmy B’s, a panty with a special liner with Wick-Stop fabric. This patented panty liner wicked moisture, didn’t stain, prevented spotting or staining from coming through to your clothes, and had an odor neutralizer for odor control. Sounds a lot like Dear Kate’s “revolutionary underwear”, right?
Out of a sense of respect for Beck and my readers, I wanted to follow up with Beck to see if there were any issues we should all note. However, I was unable to get a reply from Beck. Her old website is gone, and the replacement site Savethedaylingerie.com listed her email addy as one with the old website domain. I was perplexed… The panties had been a phenomenal success. They sold out on on QVC in 7 minutes! OnGossamer created their own Luxury Liner (TM) panties using Beck’s Wick-Stop fabric. (But that had seemed to come to an end as well, as none of the links to purchase the panties work.) It seems that Beck’s business had gone radio-silent.
Meanwhile, time was passing.
My disappointment with the shabby treatment from Dear Kate grew. That feeling compounded some other blog negativity. (I tried to make peace with that. I now blog when I can — or when you flatter me into posting or otherwise spoil me.) As a result of all of this, I never did manage to post a review about the Dear Kate panties. And that made me feel bad. Sure, they had treated me poorly, but what about my own personal accountability and blogging ethics? However fair it may seem not to review a product sent by a company which treats you so shabbily, not reviewing the lingerie sent bothered — bothers — me.
Cue whole cycle of negativity.
I did like the Dear Kate panties — even if at this point I didn’t want to like them. Or even want to think about them. They honestly have been relegated to the bottom of the panty drawer so that the sight of them doesn’t make me feel so terrible. Facing the panties was like facing myself in a mirror.
These mess-free panties had created a real mess.
What prompts this blushing-with-anxiety post now, is that Dear Kate has made the blogging news cycle. It forced me to think long and hard about whether or not to tell this sordid tale. Despite the knots in my stomach regarding what did — or, rather, what did not happen — there was also the issue of outing a lingerie company. I suppose backlash will ensue… But then again, if companies don’t feel any sense of loyalty to their word, any respect for bloggers — especially those they contact, then I really don’t want to deal with them anyway. I will continue to do as I have, focus on us, what we are interested in, not pander to companies and potential advertisers. When I have the time and inclination, that is. (See again.)
Anywhooooo, Dear Kate made the news for their “Sexy Period™ panties”. This upset Gawker (who dares to walk the line of silly feminist upset that it once left to sister site Jezebel) and fostered all sorts of commentary and reposting. It was hard for a lingerie blogger not to notice. Harder still for a risque lady lingerie blogger who doesn’t shy away from the fact that sexuality is involved with lingerie. Even with all the angst involved. So it’s time for my thoughts.
Managing menstruation, especially where panties and lingerie is concerned, has long been a problem. Panties by Beck & Dear Kate are certainly an improvement over plastic panties like those once used to cover baby’s diaper, and therefore, I dare say, are far sexier. With all due respect to those of you who enjoy the crinkle of a good plastic panty (and I know you are out there!), you are in the minority. Among other things, most women do not wish to announce such intimate things as their periods and crinkling plastic panties would do that. Unless you wear them everyday. … Which is a whole other issue, really. And this is a long enough post.
The bottom line is that, like the maternity bra issue, I’m all for a woman feeling sexy whenever she wants; that time of the month included.
Or maybe that’s the point.
I wouldn’t know because I’m not exactly on speaking terms with Dear Kate.
PS Also, I should tell you that I did find another means of contact for Emily Beck and I hope to hear from her soon. I’ll update if/when I do.
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