It’s Not The Lingerie; It’s Your Relationship

Perhaps you’ve heard the rumors that women don’t want lingerie for Valentine’s Day. According to this infographic, which was based on from It’s In The Stars‘s online Valentine’s Day survey of 305, 0% of women desire lingerie for the romantic holiday.

While 305 women is a small sampling, the fact that no women wished for lingerie is noteworthy if not surprising. And, this survey aside, this old wives tale about women not wanting lingerie resurfaces every year. So I wanted to talk about it.

Normally I tell you to listen to old wives; for we do, in fact, possess wisdom. But, as often is the case, just listening to the words or percentages alone won’t tell you much. What really matters are the sentiments beneath the sayings and numbers. In other words, why would women say they don’t want lingerie for Valentine’s Day?

The truth is, it has less to do with the lingerie than it does the connotations connected with it. And it has nothing to do with a lack of confidence about ourselves or our bodies. Instead, whether or not we want lingerie as a gift says a lot about our relationships.

Women want to feel respected. Admired and adored, including for our physical charms. And even lusted over at times. But without respect, adoration and the like leaves a woman feeling like an object or a service provider. When a woman feels that she’s not respected for the person she is, the gift of lingerie makes her feel like she is the gift to be unwrapped for a someone else’s pleasure.

It’s not a nice feeling, let alone romantic.

If or when your lady love expresses dislike for lingerie given as a gift, take note. For once again, intimate apparel conveys a lot about our intimacy issues. Her negative attitude about lingerie a signal that she feels taken for granted, that she doesn’t feel respected. Work on building the trust and respect between the two of you; put in some effort to show that she as an entire person matters to you. Make an effort to show her that every day, and she’ll never balk at lingerie.

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