My Victoria’s Secret Show 2012 Rantie

I decided to watch this year’s Icky Vicky Fashion Show. Why? I told myself it was to see Rihanna (I just adore her), and that by watching I could legitimately rant about Icky Vicky & her show, but maybe I harbor some self-loathing…? Anyway, I made it through 24 minutes, and I’d had enough. These are my scrambled thoughts.

I love animal prints as much as the next sex kitten, but a tiger plushie hoodie costume with fire wings?

More props & costumery than a real circus!

Oh, the wings. Ugh. No angels could bear those wings. Booties shoes are not replacements for boudoir slippers or elegant sandals. All of this just gets in the way of actually seeing the lingerie.

I guess Icky Vicky needs to cover up their less than stellar lingerie — and the flawed company itself. I guess by now you’ve heard of the ruckus regarding Icky Vicky and rape culture, right? If not, click the link and read all about it; here’s my favorite part:

Turns out feminist duo FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture is behind the campaign. Just last month, on the eve of the last presidential election, the same team projected “Rape Is Rape,” along with stories of survivors, onto the US Capitol Building. FORCE says, “We envision a world where sex is empowering and pleasurable rather than coercive and violent.”

Will Victoria’s Secret take a nod from the customer fan mail and change their styles? Fighting rape would be a major shift for the brand. Though they are a woman-focused company, VS has never taken a stand on any women’s issue. In fact, their current designs seem to lean more toward rape culture than consent. Their PINK brand, marketed at high school and college-aged women, sports thongs with the slogan “SURE THING” printed right over the crotch. Young women across the country are wearing underwear with “SURE THING” literally printed over their vaginas. We can think of one circumstance where a vagina is treated like a “SURE THING”: rape.

So if Victoria’s Secret clearly would NEVER promote consent why use their brand for a consent campaign? The organizers say, “We could write a pamphlet about consent. In fact, we have written and distributed pamphlets about consent. But how many people are reading pamphlets about sexual practices and how many people are reading facebook post about Victoria’s Secret? Consent needs to become a mainstream idea. Condoms became a mainstream idea in response to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Just like pausing to put on a condom prevents the spread of STDs, pausing to check in with you partner prevents unwanted sexual experiences.

I couldn’t help but think about that as I continued to watch the show.

More thoughts…

The talk about Michael Bay’s commercial just reminded me of the much better Secrets In Lace pinup and planes calendar.

Model’s talk about how great they are. Sheesh. Show some humility, maybe? Confidence is one thing; but shut up about yourselves already.

Instead of celebrating lingerie, how it can make you feel good, this show about delivering hyper-sexualized, disconnected fantasies in unrealistic ways. Not (just) body image, but the over-the-top costuming. Does the cheerleader fantasy really need to be on more steroids than some athletes?

In a word: Ridiculous.

This is what my friend and I call S & M wear: “s” for stand, “m” for model. Fashion, and in this case, lingerie, in which the only thing you can do in it is stand and model. Nope, don’t think you can lay in it or otherwise achieve a sexual position — huge wings and too many other large accessories prevent touch or penetration. If that’s your idea of sexy, you can have it.

I prefer the more intimate and beautiful simple moments between a woman and her lingerie. Not a lot of props are needed when you have something as beautiful as a woman to begin with; just drape it, form it, shape it, lace it, over a woman and that’s all you need.

The only elegance in the show was Rihanna. Now, that glimpse of stocking makes you want to see more…

But then again, as I’ve admitted, I could only stomach 24 minutes of the show.

Did you watch?

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