Big Thoughts On Being A BBW & Plus-Size Lingerie: An Interview With A Creative Fat Word Grrl

Recently I’ve been talking with Laura, the woman behind the writing inspiration site Word Grrls, where I was recently interviewed. Laura also runs Creative Fat Grrl— a blog with the tagline, “Life keeps happening even when you don’t look like you fit in.” Despite her reclamation of the word “fat” and a positive outlook, Laura has some honest thoughts on body issues and lingerie. I asked her to share them with us.

(In case the spelling confuses you, Laura’s from Canada. *wink*)

You asked me about my thoughts about being a BBW (plus sized woman) in the world of lingerie and fashion.

The first thing that comes to mind is underwear, also known as panties. As a larger sized woman I find it disappointing that our choices in underwear are pretty much white and bland. I see smaller sizes in all colours and patterns. Even the same brand in the same store will have great panties in smaller sizes than mine. I look through the packages on the racks for my size and find… nothing. When I do find my size they are white. Or they have a few colours but not the same patterns and colours.

It’s annoying because the one place I can wear and enjoy colour and patterns without caring what anyone else things or sees, is underwear. No one sees my underwear unless I choose to let them.

They say big women shouldn’t wear horizontal stripes but you can wear anything under your clothes and it won’t make you look fat. At least not when it comes to underwear and lingerie. I do like shopping at the large size stores because that is the only place I can find lingerie and especially underwear in great colours like neon pink, F U red, and sunshine yellow.

I also buy the best nightgowns there. I don’t sleep in the nude. I don’t even understand why any woman would miss out on the chance to wear something slippery, sexy and flowing. As a fat woman I get to be a princess every night. I don’t wear skimpy lingerie and nightgowns. I’d rather go with something that makes me feel pretty. I like a long, full length nightgown, down to my toes. I like fabric that flows, twirls and feels silky to the touch. I might go with a plunging neckline – because I have no shortage of cleavage. But, I want to feel luxurious, not scantily clad.

I wish I could keep the lingerie feeling with me when it comes to my outside clothes and fashion. But, it doesn’t work that way. I put on my pants and pick a shirt that will cover all the places where my body looks grossly fat to me. I hate my belly the most these days. It used to be my legs that were enemy number one. Before that it was my butt. Now I realize my butt would be in fashion if I were not fat all over.

When you are big you can’t help thinking about how you would look if you weren’t big. Looking at other women and wondering if that’s how you would look. She has my butt.. That one has my waist… and that looks like the shape my face would probably be. My Mother tells me about other women who look like me, or how I would look if I were slim. She remembers how I looked before I really was fat – the days I just thought I was as fat as I really am now. I’m not quite confident enough to say my actual weight or size but it’s sad to think that even when I was just a bit chubby I always felt I was huge. Now that I really am huge, I feel that I do fit in my own skin in some way. Not that I want to be this size but at least I’ve become the fat woman I was told I always was.

Laura can be found on Twitter @thatgrrl. She is the web producer for Word Grrls for writers looking for extra help, inspiration and creativity. Her other sites are Green Living History and the ASCII Art Bazaar.

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