After all these years blogging about lingerie, it’s history, it’s place on our bodies, in our minds and our culture, there are days when I have more questions than answers… Mostly I have answers. Even if they aren’t as satisfactory as some people would like them to be.
I’m asked all the time if loving lingerie and vintage pinups as I do conflicts at all with my feminist leanings. The simple answer is, “No. I believe in the right every woman, every human, to dress as they see fit.”
Sometimes you stumble into confusing territory. As in this post I made which is sort of the cherry on top of recent posts: Does another one of Victoria’s Secrets clarify or confuse in terms of the Frederick’s Of Hollywood Vs. Victoria’s Secret battle? What about the discussion about women being too sexy in maternity &/or nursing bras? If anything, it cements my thoughts on use of fashion illustration while adding to the noise about Madonna/Whore issues and The Media — which, by the way, is really each one of us or it wouldn’t, couldn’t, be sold.
I suppose the headache I’ve given myself there is nothing compared to readers who continue to wonder how I can call myself a feminist while being a phone sex operator.
For me, there is no conflict here at all. Feminism means equality and I take that to mean we all have the right to explore and pursue our erotic inclinations, so I also provide sex positive services based on my love of lingerie and my understanding of fellow linger lovers.
If you’re operating under the inaccurate impression that anyone — or everyone — who deals with any sort of monetary transactions regarding sexuality is “victimized,” then might I ask you how you feel about, well, pretty much darn near anything you can see or hear. What company doesn’t use sex to sell itself? What film or song doesn’t depict or manipulate our entwined confused thoughts and behaviors regarding sex? At least I am honest and direct about it: Lingerie touches our intimate parts, thoughts, and dreams.
I pride myself on that honesty. Really I do.
I pride myself on having the integrity to be honest about what lingerie is, what it touches — including exposed raw nerves, those issues which make us uncomfortable. I try to do so gently, as much as possible. However, I’m not against ripping off a band aid now and then.
But I’m not visually graphic about lingerie’s erotic nature or relationship with us either. I’m proud of that too — because I think tease is not only “classier” but far more exciting and arousing because it engages the mind, the emotions…
Phone sex, chat, custom stories and whatnot, it pays some bills, it’s fun, and, fundamentally, what do you care? If you don’t like it, don’t worry — no one’s going to force you to participate in it.
But some people do care. Some advertisers — or, I should more accurately say, some potential advertisers, readers, bloggers, etc., do care. They won’t link or be here until/unless I clean-up my act. *sigh*
What type of infractions or sins do I commit? I’m not always positive about the lingerie &/or apparel business. It’s the horrible appearance of “too many” nipples — heck, the use of the word “nipples” appears to many times. Oh, I hope we’re not referring to men’s nipples (insert horrified gasp here!) because did you know I not only accept cross dressers here, but I acknowledge them?! Perhaps worst of all, I’m a woman (a mother!) who admits to having sex, to liking sex, to not being uncomfortable talking about sex — and who’ll even do so for money?! One media buyer told me this “more than damped things,” it was “a wet blanket” on what had previously been a “hot deal.”
I could go on and on; but why bother.
This lingerie blog is flawed, they say. Why don’t I just tone down the subject and become just another “pic & click shopping blog” where everything is happy-happy consumerism and the consumers are nothing but blissfully ignorant patsies who only need to know what’s trending and where to buy it — with a special emphasis on positive reviews only and paid postings, thankyouverymuch.
That’s not why I blog — I blog to discuss the “functional romance” of lingerie and the intimate nature of the garments in our lives! I’m not even sure I could try to separate the intimacy from the intimate apparel if I tried!
Naughty lingerie talk?
You’re soaking in it here at A Slip Of A Girl.
If that bothers you, I’m sorry. But not for the reasons you might think — or wish.
I’m sorry that you refuse to see the facts about lingerie, about human sexuality, about the culture we live in. I won’t perpetuate the lies just to make you happy. Nope, not even with dainty omissions.
Lingerie is about more than trends, stores, price and the occasional fabric content note. And I won’t pretend otherwise. Not even for money.
I’ll make up what you won’t pay me in the dirty “all wet” business of phone sex.