Doing research (the reason I’ve been rather silent), I ran across this fab vintage bit in California’s Press-Telegram, February 25, 1958, in which Molly Mayfield “Referees Girdle Dispute.”
DEAR MRS. MAYFIELD;
My wife and I have been having somewhat of an argument. It started out as a joke more or less, but not it has reached the point where we need a referee, so please tell us what you think on both sides.
Here’s the problem: My wife’s measurements are 36-26-36 and she is five feet five inches tall. She contents that she should wear a girdle when she goes out. By “out” she means with or without me. She thinks she protrudes you-know-where.
Also, she contends other women with smaller hips than hers wouldn’t be seen out of the house without wearing a girdle. She thinks by wearing a girdle she will make a better appearance for ME in the eyes of the public.
This concludes her side of the argument.
Now for my side: First of all, let me point out we have been married for 11 years, and she’s not going to fool me, and why would she want to fool some other man?
Furthermore, I don’t think with those measurements she needs to try and fool anybody, do you?
And what if she does fool someone with a girdle? She certainly doesn’t need to fool me.
Just how does a woman think? — MYSTIFIED HUSBAND.
DEAR MYSTIFIED HUSBAND: Don’t you realize there are some men (a few, anyway) who wear girdles — and who do you think they’re fooling?
You see, it isn’t really the idea of fooling someone. It’s just that all fashion experts — and most women — agree that a woman looks better in her clothes girdlewise. And what woman wants to put on a nifty new dress and FEEL that she looks sloppy in it?
I’m not saying that she necessarily does look sloppy, but there’s just that sort of a feeling. (Personally, I detest girdles, but I still know I look better when I wear one, but the personal angle is neither here nor there.)
I’d think you’d rather have your wife of 11 years dress up than dress down, and that’s all she means by being girdle-conscious.
In other words, suh, I case my vote on your wife’s side. So what about turning this good-natured argument into a joke again? Ha, Ha! –M.M.
I can’t imagine any man actually making this complaint — unless he was an insecure, controlling type. …Then again, perhaps he just wanted to brag about his good looking 36-26-36 wife!