Hi Slip, I love your blog. As a lingerie lover I’ve got a problem, and I’m hoping you can help me.
I’ve tried again and again to get my wife to wear stockings. I told her how they affect me. I’ve given her pretty stockings. Expensive stockings too. And garter belts and panties with garters too. Even matching bras so that she’d have the complete sets. But other than a few — too few special occasions, she just doesn’t wear them. Even though she says she loves how they look and make her feel.
I realize she can’t wear them everyday (her job, the weather, etc.) but why not at night when we’re sitting at home — at least on weekends. Believe me I’ve suggested it. Often.
Any ideas? Should I just give up?
Stockings Fan, Mike
Dear Stockings Fan,
Don’t give up!
I’m happy to hear that you’ve been direct with your lady about your dreams of dressing — and undressing — her in stockings. That’s always the place to start.
Without knowing your wife, I can tell you that what you are asking for is essentially a lifestyle change. Stockings and traditional lingerie itself are no longer the daily part of most women’s lives they once were; as you mentioned, there are practical reasons, such as work and weather, which render stockings and lingerie more fantasy than reality.
In fact today, part of the seductive power of stockings, and lingerie in general, is the dream of it. It’s the romance of femininity… What’s seen and, hopefully, yet to be seen… How what’s covered feels encased in such delicate fabrics… And a glamorous sense of tradition. All of this is just as true for the wearer as it is the viewer.
So if you want her to wear stockings, give her the complete dream.
The complete dream means more than the individual parts you are fantasizing about, i.e. the stockings, or even the ancillary accoutrement, such as garter belts, panties and matching bras. These are the bare bones of the dream, yes; but they are too bare.
At least to start with.
This is not just a literal thing, but a matter of emotional space; wearing so little to lounge around in not only can leave her physically cold, but emotionally cold as well. You have to remember that in our society, many women spend a large part of their day feeling guarded, protective, of themselves and their physical space. Coming home and stripping nearly naked to be on display can be equated to a form of performance anxiety. And even when she just gives in and “does it,” she is likely disconnected from the experience. Which is so not what you want, right?
If you consider the stockings of The Lingerie Dream as the equivalent of The Main Event, what we’re talking about here is creating the mood and providing enough foreplay.
Some of the best lingerie foreplay is — surprise! — more lingerie.
Nothing sets the mood, addresses the emotional issues, and gives both of you more to dream about and play with than more lingerie. Give her all she needs to dress up at home — the complete lounging look that glamour girls of yesteryear had. Just look at all Virginia Mayo:
Because of those slippers, you know that beneath that peignoir and nightgown she’s wearing stockings and garters. So, now that it’s holiday time, here’s your shopping list. *wink* Get a nightgown and peignoir set and a pair of boudoir slippers to match the stockings and garters you’ve already purchased for your lady.
Then, be sure to create the space and the mood — physically and emotionally. Among other things, you need to address the practical things which might get in the way, such as the kids, chores, etc., and agree that you’ll be spending time together. Intimate alone time.
Soon she’ll be the one looking forward to slipping into something a little more comfortable, a lot more glamorous, and both of you will be more amorous.
Photos: Contemporary lingerie and stocking images via Secrets In Lace.