Things That Snap My Girdle – In A Bad Way

If you are not reading at Relationship Underarm Stick, you should. Her recent post about New Year’s resolutions is especially excellent. Her concerns regarding women who acquiesce too easily or too often are spot-on — as a survivor of domestic violence, I know just how badly that can go. To help, Alessia has a task for you:

So, get out another piece of paper, title it “Demand That People Accept Me”, and make a list of things that should not be changed about yourself.

They can be little or big things; vital ‘this is me’ things or ‘pet peeve’ things that really get under your skin. In fact, that should be one of the things you write down: No one has the right to tell me how important things are to me, or how I feel.

Her personal examples are not only wise but the blunt honesty is such a hoot to read (I don’t want to steal her thunder by quoting all of them, so go read them yourself), that I called hubby over.

“Hey, come here,” I said, “You’ve got to read this post!”

He came over, saw the green of Alessia’s blog on the screen and said, “Did you write about me?”

Well, that just shows you how often he reads at my pink & white blog, doesn’t it. *sigh*

“No, I didn’t write it,” I said, trying not to march off on the tangent of why he doesn’t at least know what my blog looks like.

“It’s about me in the figural sense?” he asks.

“No — not everything is about you. Should I play You’re So Vain while you read it?” I giggled. “But she does mention one of my biggest pet peeves…”

He begins to read, then says (and this will be more meaningful to you when you read Alessia’s post), “Gosh, just reading about this makes me make ‘ick’ face at you.”

Bastard.

That’s the trouble with someone knowing your pet peeves; they can tease you about them. (However, since this is a big pet peeve — a rule — of mine, I wouldn’t have married him if he was the sort of chap who had such silly immature reactions to human female bodily functions; he does however, sometimes forget about the toilet seat, but as that’s less of a priority compared to ‘ick face’ etc., he gets away with it.)

But in thinking about this, I realized the real trouble occurs when people don’t know your pet peeves &/or rules.

Then they, like some of my favorite people here at A Slip of a Girl, don’t know when they are offending or upsetting you. Because, yes, it bothers me deeply when you (especially my sweet cross dressers), get all squeamish about menstruation. Some of you think it’s TMI, but a few of you have made comments about how “lucky” they are to “take what they want of femininity and leave the rest” — and that really makes me angry. It makes most women angry.

I don’t hate you — I know you didn’t know, and that’s my fault for not saying so. Even if I didn’t want to seem rude for saying something, the result was not only my own upset but the fact that I was being rude for expecting you to read my mind. That never goes well, does it?

So I’m here to end the chafing.

Even though I know you weren’t trying to upset (or even tease) me, I have to say that I find that sort of immaturity about the facts of life disappointing… And in fact, I find some of the comments moving toward misogyny. “Don’t trust anything that bleeds for seven days but doesn’t die.” Ugh.

I know periods are, like other bodily functions, rather private things. They ought not to be discussed anywhere, everywhere & with just anyone. (And for the most part, such things only come up here when relevant.) But this attitude about bodily functions is taken with you wherever you go. That’s upsetting.

You men (and any women who loathe themselves & their bodies thus) need to accept the realities of a normal, healthy female body.

We women have to accept such things about men — even if we don’t completely understand them.

For example, we have to accept the fact that you guys will wake up with morning wood 99% of the time. We can’t blame you for it. We don’t have to do anything about it; but we do have to accept that your hormones cycle daily and so you have heavy loads of testosterone just waiting to be released along with your seed.

We have to accept that your delicate dangle, that thing there between your legs (which I can only imagine is something like a small, narrow, third breast just hanging there), will suddenly jump up and point like a fool whenever aroused — and beg to be used — like some independent tool with impulse issues.

And you pee from it!

We don’t understand it, sometimes it embarrasses us, and quite frankly it seems weird. But we mature. Even if we remain ignorant to “knowing”, we accept it and stop acting as if (& thinking that) you are freaks or gross or dirty.

So, it’s time for those of you with these issues to stop being boys and become men.

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