Did Somebody Say "Ranties"?

Don’t hate me because I must make the ranties.

Those of you who have requested more of my ranties will appreciate this post; those who have not, but are equally irritated by the actions I will now describe, will also enjoy this post. Those who do not enjoy this post likely have something to learn.

I went shopping earlier today. Hellish, it was. Not just because it was busy due to holiday shopping, but because some people are idiots.

First it was the woman who had apparently needed help finding an item she was looking for; so she asked a clerk for help. As the clerk went off in pursuit of the item, the lady — no you can’t call her a lady! — the woman walked out of her isle into mine and so fast, I barely had time to stop and not plow into her. You do not walk out into traffic like that, pedestrian traffic or no; it’s dangerous and rude. Anyway, she rushes into the isle yelling after the clerk, “I’ll wait right here.”

And she meant that literally.

She stood, fixed to that spot — the intersection of her isle and the main isle I was pushing my cart through, blocking traffic from all possible directions.

Oh, and there was traffic. It’s the freakin’ holiday season!

We, the blocked traffic, all looked at one another with arched WTF eyebrows, held hostage for 15 minutes until those folks behind us were able to back-up and get themselves to isles not held hostage by the woman in waiting.

When I left, that woman was still standing there, at the intersection of Her Rudeness and Our Inconvenience, waiting for a clerk I really hoped would never return.

But my day wasn’t done.

There were the Unsupervised Children accompanied, but not attended by, Oblivious Parents (even during merchandise tossing events, of which the scoring and intent was unclear); the Aimless With Carts (both the “I don’t know what to buy” and the “uncertified to motor push carts through public spaces” varieties); the Loud Talkers (I’m no librarian, but if I can hear you two isles over, you are talking too loud); and my personal favorite, The Smellies.

The Smellies are not technically the smelling impaired (I’m assuming that like the blind etc., they opt to learn how to work with a limited sense as far as how both safety and acceptance goes) — but rather The Smellies are those who seem to care neither how much they reek, nor of the damage they can do to the noses of others. Most people think of The Smellies when dealing with a drunk or a person with poor hygiene, but there are other categories too. Like men and women who put on too much cologne. (One cannot really, or easily, put on too much perfume — remind me to get to that sometime.)

Today’s Smellie was a woman who had so much makeup on I could identify the brand by its smell when I walked by. Now that’s a sign of too much makeup.

And for me to get the hell out of the store.

PS If you’re looking for more of my ranties, have you noticed that I’m blogging with some of my gal pals over at Pink Populace Paparazzi Parade Exposé?

Now for my nice side…

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