"She Doesn’t Wear Enough Sexy Lingerie," He Whines

Prayin Forabra asks Magic City Kitty how to get his wife back into sexy lingerie:

How do I coax my wife back into wearing some sexy lingerie? She used to wow me every time she undressed, but ever since we (she) had our daughter all I see is granny panties, and even worse, sometimes my boxers. I thought it was a phase that she was going through with the new baby and all, but my daughter is 3 and still, nothing.

She begins her response by saying, “Well Mr. Forabra, you and your penis should have thought about wanting to see sexy panties and bras before you knocked your wife up.” And then gives a pretty accurate description of the common problem, focusing heavily on Oprah’s previous shows etc. Then she suggests gift certificates — but as the guy’s already stated he’s purchased lingerie for his wife and tried to get her to go shopping, it seems a bit off the mark.

I think her best bit lies in this:

Well before I get to your “dilemma”, let me ask you something: Have you lost your baby weight yet? And do you throw on a leopard g-string when it comes time to get down with the get down? Yeah, get back to me on that.

If any of you were listening to Cult of Gracie with Tom Paine & C. (the husband and wife behind Polyamorously Perverse), you heard a great discussion about how when intimacy and “sexy” fade from your relationship, the root of the problem isn’t (usually) all one person.

Both have to take a hard look at how they feel about themselves — & how they’ve been dressing & treating themselves is a huge part of that. Not only does sloppy dressing mean they are sending a “not interested” message to their partner, but to themselves. If & when you dress like that, you are also telling yourself you’re not worthy.

Lingerie, at least versus underwear, is a luxury. Not wearing it is not only less inviting for this husband, but a message from the wife to herself that she’s not worth it.
That’s the real issue here.

And maybe she’s looking at her husband and seeing not just his extra weight or whatever, but his sweat pants, t-shirt with spots and holes, and his body slumped in the chair — not only holding a remote, but a remote, removed look on his face which says, “Who cares.” That’s not how he got her attention, how they fell in love — or lust — and made a baby.

So before Prayin Forabra and the rest of you guys start asking what she can do for you, ask yourself what you’ve done for her and for yourself.

Photo via The Sun.

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