Today’s Rant: You’re Practicality Is Killing Me

I’m all for sexual freedom, reproductive choice, equal rights for all, & I’ve nothing against peace and letting it all hang-out, man; but something nasty began in the 60’s and I just can’t stop thinking about it today.

At some point in the 60’s advertising for lingerie took a nose-dive into practical — which can have its merits, I do believe — but the marketing of lingerie became so focused on function, so purpose driven, it stripped lingerie of its romance and luxury.

Exhibit A, an from 1964:


The Abdo-Slim? Honestly, could anything be more direct? Keep your vile, base, practical words off my freakin’ girdle!

I miss being seduced into the frilly fantasy… I even miss fingers and kittens in my girdle.

As ads moved more into peddling performance and product construction (including modern fabric construction), lingerie became less about the fantasy & frills, and more about base descriptions. And they became blase.

Calling this a ‘Princess Beauty Belt’ couldn’t save the ad from the drive to make a performance point. Even the illustrated model looks irritated.


No wonder we began to wave good-bye to the girdle.

Yes, lingerie ads for foundation garments have a history of pointing to their ability to perform the act of perfection, but they still gave the girdles grand names — and the girls (especially the illustrated ones) looked so blissfully happy (and latently sexy).

We can’t go back and remove the blight of such things, but I hope modern makers and marketers can find their way back to playful parades of beauty fantasies rather than continue with the trite tired tirades of utility.

And this concludes part one of today’s rant.

Stay tunned.

Or not. Either way, I’ll be ranting. Because it’s my blog and I’ll rant when I need to.

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