INDY, of the Women In Full Cut Nylon Briefs Yahoo group and Bill Turlock, of Lingerie Lovers and Panty Art, have started a special and unique blog called Panty Tontine, which is dedicated to the male panty enthusiast who wonders, “What will become of my stash?”
If the word ‘tontine’ throws you, it means “a form of life insurance whereby on the death or default of a participant his share is distributed to the remaining members.” This will become clearer as you read what the group is about and why it is needed. For that, I’ll let INDY do the talking:
There’s the more general topic of panty fetishes and the quiet group of men who suffer from this affliction.
There is also the naughty/knotty topic of our Stashes… we love panties so much that we collect them (honestly, and sometimes dishonestly obtained). We live in a secret world with our mania hidden from our real world friends, so we end up hiding our stashes away. As we age, we all begin to worry about what will happen to this delightful stuff (in some cases it’s a significant collection in volume and $$).
I’m spent the past half dozen year or more trying to get the word out that there are places for us guys to visit and talk and think about who we are, what happens next with our lives, and now we’re also concerned about how to deal with all this stuff.
The ultimate goal of this site will be to try to create a worldwide think tank that ponders how “collectors” of vintage panties and other fine lingerie (collector is spelled – “fetishist”) can deal with the knotty issue of how their collections (stashes) should be dealt with when we toddle off to meet that great Gusseteer in the sky.
Obviously things at your house are considerably different since you’re supposed to have tons of panties and other frilly things… but I’d venture a guess that you’ve got many visitors to your site who will find themselves resonating with the question of what might happen if they dropped over, and their families were left to decide what to do with the sudden discovery of their loved one’s stash of panties and who knows what else?
None of us of course can bear to think about those surprised family members or the disastrous decisions they will likely make with what to do with all this irreplaceable stuff. Nor do many of us have friends who we can ask to step in and take possession of those precious goods in a crisis.
That said however, I am in possession of two keys for friends’ storage units which are filled to the ceiling with lingerie, and I am their “fail safe”! But the issue is a difficult one to sort out.
Another thing driving the launch of this Blog occurred a month or so ago when one of my friends (with one of the storage units I mentioned) just went through a full blown crisis when his wife discovered the existence of his storage unit. He was traveling and could not get home, so I drove the 250 miles to his unit and managed its safe transition to a new location for him. Timing was good this time, but going forward, he knows he may not be so lucky… especially if he died. He is joining us for a serious discussion of what should be done next.
The good news is that we have an underground “brotherhood” comprised of some very creative people… lawyers, salesmen, engineers, teachers… you name it, so if we all put our heads together and feed off each other’s ideas, we ought to be able to come up with some solution or solutions that make more sense than just saying, “after I’m gone it’ll be someone else’s problem”.
So I’ve called this blog Panty Tontine because part of the solution seems to be someone ultimately being put in charge of (“winning”?) the stashes of panties and other lingerie currently stashed away in thousands and thousands of attics, garages, basements, closets, car trunks… and yes, even giant public storage units.
I’ve launched the Blog by re-posting some writing I did a couple of years ago about what this fetish is all about (can’t recall if I directed you to that before or not)… but I plan to continue to salt it regularly with short rants about this difficult issue of what to do with all this slinky treasure we’ve got stored away.
I’d like this Blog to be a safe home where “brothers” can post their thoughts and fears about their fetish. There are precious few informed professionals who know or write anything useful about the “soft fetishes”… and as I have a prior history as a therapist (no specialty), I’ve decided to open the “confessional” if you will and hopeful also begin to help build the knowledge base on soft fetishists here too.
A few of us, including Bill Turlock, have talked about a further strategy that includes putting together one or a series of web meetings (depends on costs and other logistics) where we open the topic of “a tontine” in a “live” discussion. More on that later.
My job, as I see it, is to marshal resources and support for an woefully under served underground community of panty fetishists that finds it difficult to deal with having any public exposure. With this new Blog I want to create another safe place for guys with fetishes to visit, to talk, and to come to terms with themselves.
I’m an old guy, been through the wars, have a tough hide and pretty much don’t worry too much about what others think. But, most guys who suffer from a panty (or any other soft fetish) are usually introverted and almost painfully shy about the topic of these sexual interests or needs. Few find it possible to think about their fetish futures… they function more day to day as far as this side of their lives is concerned.
Ultimately I want to try to raise the understanding of this fetish in the normal world because it is so terribly misunderstood. I find it interesting that the traditional therapeutic community almost totally ignores this fetish and does not offer any help or insights into what it’s about.
Lots is written about the more outrageous fetishes… rubber, leather, S/M, bondage etc… but guys who love panties or stockings or slips are seen as “other” by the therapeutic community – they seem to run away from us.
As a former therapist myself, I suspect that many of them believe in a cartoon domino theory about our fetishes… “loving panties or stockings always leads to gayness”. The other thought I have is that it may get too close to their own secrets. They are afraid of exposing themselves, so simply “don’t go there”. I put a good deal of credence in that, from knowing a lot of male therapists. (BTW, women therapists seem to be much more open to non-standard behavior than men.) It’s my opinion that between 5 and 10% of all men have some sort of interest in panties… many of them can be classified as having the fetish.
So, if you’re a male panty collector who doesn’t quite know what to do with your stash, get over to Panty Tontine asap.
(Images of Playmate Marion Stafford (March, 1956), which have quite a bit to do with INDY’s love of vintage lingerie. *wink*)