Indicative TMI

1. Who was your childhood hero?

Childhood hero? I was a shy, awkward child who spent most of her childhood either reading or outside, under a tree, daydreaming… I’d say my hero was my mom. And my grandma and grandpa, her parents, a close second.

2. Have you ever had sex with someone who has a myspace page?

I don’t even have a myspace page, so masturbation wouldn’t count… To the best of my knowledge, I have not.

3. What fantasies have you openly told your partner about?

Everyone of them.

4. Have you ever said you love someone but didn’t mean it?

Not intentionally. There have been times I was mistaken — caught up in the infatuation or passion of it all. But not as a ‘way out’ or anything.

5. Have you ever woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you?

Not literally. Though there have been those times where I figuratively ‘woke up’ and wondered who I was with. lol Like with my ex-husband.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell…

There are a lot of these! Since the ex-husband is on the brain (from that last question), here’s one about him which is only funny now.

He used to screw like a rabbit. Literally. Like grunt-grunt-grunt then fall on his side. He thought I was a randy girl because I always wanted more sex — when in reality, it took 5 or 6 of those ‘screws’ to get me anywhere near orgasmic.

Should you be wondering why I married him well, let’s just say I thought the few times before marriage that we’d had sex were not indicative of his repertoire as a whole. The first time we were ‘close’, the removal of my bra rendered him impotent. Apparently The Girls were even more magnificent than he had hoped and he couldn’t perform. (Pre-game jitters, if you will.) The next few times, when he was bunny-quick, I put that off to over-excitement. I don’t want to be yelled at for encouraging pre-marital sex, but let me tell you kids something…

Do not think that sex will get better.

The first time may be a bit clumsy, and that will improve; but more than once? No. A poor lay is a poor lay. Nor should you think that sex is unimportant. It’s not to me. And while bunny sex wasn’t the only reason we split (though it sure was indicative of his general selfishness), marriage is difficult enough without icky, sad, quick, lonely, sex.

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