What Does Your Underwear Say About You?

Mentioning the unmentionable: Find out what your underwear says about you by Chelsea Ide is reprinted here for two reasons: because it’s a register-to-read site (most annoying, those are), and because I am curious… So look for my comments, set apart by the inset or blockquote style.

It’s the first thing put on each day, and it just might give insight into the wearer’s personality. But, they’re … unmentionables. Take a deep breath, and prepare to learn what your underwear says about you.

Ladies

High-cut briefs:
Many people mock high-cut briefs, more commonly known as “granny panties.” Still, most women have a pair or two stashed at the back of the top dresser drawer.

Women who wear granny panties care about comfort and function over style, which is indicative of the wearer’s practical nature, according to Handbag.com. The fashion Web site says those wearing high-cut panties tend to be perfectionists, except when it comes to style.

Ave Moynahan, a communications sophomore, who works at Fascinations Sensual Shoppe and Superstore, agreed that women wearing high-cut briefs aren’t dressing to impress, at least not underneath.

Stop: Not all high-cut or full-cut panties are grannie panties. Grannie panties are those cotton jobbies with no style. You can find full nylon panties with plenty of style. That noted, let’s move onto the other points.

I was fascinated by the “those wearing high-cut panties tend to be perfectionists, except when it comes to style.” I searched Handbag.com and found nothing about this (then again, there were no results at all for panties or lingerie at all, so maybe their search just sucks or the archives aren’t accessible). I’m quite curious as to that statement by anyone. I’ll accept there could be a connection between full-cut panties, or even cotton granny panties, and perfectionism — but not at the expense of fashion. Quite often the choice is dictated by fashion. Less pantylines, no panties rolling down the hips or riding up behinds, and a smooth rear. These are parts of perfect fashion sense, yes?

Boy shorts vs. Thongs: Women seeking to avoid the faux pas of a panty line have two options: thongs or boy shorts (well, some opt for no underwear, but we’ll get to that later).

Handbag.com says the boy shorts or thong wearer is “a confident go-getter who likes a challenge.”

These women are looking for sexy, pretty underwear that makes them feel like princesses, even when they are in jeans and a T-shirt.

Moynahan says there are differences in mannerisms between thong-wearers and girls who choose boy shorts.

“The girls who wear boy shorts seem to be really sweet,” she says. She added that these girls want to be cute and feminine, without bearing it all.

She says thong-wearers like to show off their curves. These women tend to be outgoing and open to new things.

The need to match: The need to have matching bra and panty sets denotes an anal tendency. Fashion comes first for these ladies, and they are very confident. These women see nothing wrong in pampering themselves and might be classified as spoiled or high-maintenance, says Handbag.com.

Again, nothing found at the site referenced. But this all sounds very, very cliche. (Though I do like the sound of ‘thong wearers have an anal tendency.’ lol)

If I had to make my quick & snappy undie judgements, I’d say that those who chose boy shorts and thongs are too quick to agree to trends, give into pressures and have a buy-off-the-rack mentality. They are told by the fashion world that the panties are the new ‘it’ panties, that thongs which bare all are sexier than imagination and romance, and do not spend time searching for vintage lingerie or vintage styles. As for spoiled or high-maintenance, I’d say their more the instant gratification types.

Gents

Boxers: Boxers are a default setting for most modern men. That doesn’t stop these undies from telling secrets. Boxers are about comfort, first and foremost. Boxer boys are generally laidback and not too flashy.

Moynahan says boxers show that a guy is light-hearted.

Briefs: Tightie-whities, or briefs in other color variations, have a very specific connotation. Adult men wearing briefs tend to be inhibited and like the restricted nature of this kind of underwear, according to TheSite.org.

Monica Martinez, a sales associate at Victoria’s Secret, says briefs remind her of a little boy jumping down the stairs in his Superman underoos. She admitted it has taken some time to adjust to her boyfriend’s underwear of choice, but after getting past the little-brother connection, she finds him sexy again.

Moynahan says she’s not quick to judge a man in briefs because she believes some men take comfort in wearing something fitting.

Boxer-briefs: Some men prefer to wear the boxer-briefs to get the best of both worlds.

“[Those who wear boxer-briefs] are usually the ones that are good at committing in relationships,” Moynahan says.

This makes sense if you consider they have compromised on underwear styles.

Thong: “I have learned that men who wear thongs do it because it gets them off,” Moynahan said.

She explained that these men tend to be extremely outgoing and exhibitionists. Male thong-wearers were voted “Class Clown” their senior year of high school.

Again, nothing about this from TheSite.org. I’d say that many men who wear the briefs are less risk takers as they just increased the size of little boy underpants and haven’t (yet) ventured into other styles. You could also say that boxer guys are more flashy in the sense that boxers are proudly & loudly hung on hangers, while the tightie and tidy briefs are sold in plastic packs, white or not. And the boxer-brief is a very new combo, so this could also represent a challenge for some men who just go in and grab the pack or hanger with the right size out of habit. (Most men do tend to shop or re-stock on auto-pilot rather than get real thinky about it all.)

I do have to wonder how Moynahan conducted her research regarding male commitment. lol

No underwear: There are two views on “going commando.” For guys, there is a sense that someone forgot to do laundry and going “sans underwear” was the only option, says TheSite.org. It can also be a sign that the non-wearer is down-to-earth and believes in a natural way of life.

For the ladies, a typical double standard applies. Moynahan pointed out that often, women going without underwear are doing so to taunt the men around them. It’s also possible that these are Earth-conscious women who don’t want to constrict their nether parts.

Your underwear doesn’t dictate who you are; it’s just another way of expressing yourself. Putting on a thong isn’t going to make you outgoing, but if you’re already wearing one, you probably are.

Reach the reporter at chelsea.ide@asu.edu.

(Photo by Amanda Lee Myers/State Press Magazine.)

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