On Being A Territorial Bitch

You know, Slip of a Girl is relatively easy going, but lately I’ve had to delete so many dumb-ass comments that I feel a ranty coming on…

I didn’t think I’d have to state some of these obvious things, but I guess I do. So here are A Slip of a Girl’s comment posting guidelines, as they relate to the recent rash of deletions I had to perform. If your comments were deleted, this is why.

(If your comments have not been deleted, please don’t get paranoid and worry that this is directed at you.)

#1) Don’t post what I can only assume are your ‘best cyber lines ever’ as a comment. While I don’t mind if you cyber or have phone sex or whatever, I don’t. (I am happily married and save all of that for my husband, thank you.) I’m guessing that those recently deleted were confused by my open and flirtatious nature, so let me explain.

I do occasionally flirt here — with frequent posters. This is because we know each other a bit; at least well enough to be so open and playful. If I don’t know you and you start in with your lines, it’s not just inappropriate but scary. Who talks that way with a stranger they meet on the street? It makes me flinch. (Yes, flinch. Which is when my hand spasms on the delete button.)

Even if you have been reading here since day one, if you have not introduced yourself — if we have not had a simple exchange or two of pleasantries (or healthy debate even) — your forward comments are the equivalent of a stalker who makes anonymously dirty phone calls.

Again, I repeat, it makes me flinch. So please do not do it.

#2) Don’t post spam comments. Spam comments are those which go like this: Hey, nice blog, check out my site (link). It adds nothing to the conversation & it’s obvious what you are up to. Heck, this is why I have to bother regulars and sincere posters with the stupid image thingy; it is my hope this annoys you just enough to not bother with me. But occasionally, a few of you are not to be so deterred… Especially those of you with lingerie stores.

Want to know just how much this upsets me, how far I’ll go with this?

A woman posted spam comments not once, but twice. Two variations of “Hey, you’ll like my lingerie store. Visit it (link).”

Yeah, I visited her site. Once there, I got her 800 number and called it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, X?”

“Hello?”

The earpiece is filled with the sounds of kids and one very loud screaming baby, so I repeat myself, “Hello, X?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s Slip of a Girl… You posted in my blog.”

Sounds of movement and the baby wail fades a bit. “Who is this?”

“It’s A Slip of a Girl. You posted at my blog twice yesterday.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to know why you posted spam at my blog.”

“I didn’t spam you,” she replies all incredulous and indignant.

“Yes, you did.”

“I just commented on your blog.”

“With links.”

“Yes. What you did was comment spam.”

“No, it’s not. If you don’t want comments on your blog, turn them off,” she says with a smug tone.

“Oh no, I want comments — live for them somedays,” I say. “But that’s another matter and I don’t wish to digress; let’s stay on topic, shall we?”

“I have no idea what you want…”

“I want you to explain to me why you posted spam.”

“I didn’t.”

“Did you or did you not post at my blog just to get a link from my site?”

“Well, yes, I thought your readers would be interested.”

“When you just post your link, and do not add to the conversation by replying to what was either said in my post or by others commenting, you are spamming.”

Silence.

“You have a links directory at your site, yes?”

“Yes…” (She now sounds really confused.)

“Is my blog listed in it?”

“No. I don’t have many sites in my directory as I don’t like to send my visitors — potential customers — away.”

“So you value your site visitors, but you can’t understand how another would feel the same.”

Silence.

I wait her out.

“What is it that you want?”

“I’d like you to admit that you were wrong; that you were inappropriate to spam for a link and my traffic. That at the very least you could have emailed regarding a link exchange with your directory. Rude upon rude, really.”

Silence.

“Since you won’t do that, I am telling you to stop spamming. I don’t like to waste my time deleting your silly wasted attempts at links.”

“Is that all you have to say?” (I can tell she’s getting ready to hang up because she’s moved closer to the screaming children.)

“Well, that and if you’re trying to run a business, you really should pay attention to when and how you answer the phone…”

That’s when she hung up.

If this woman is reading here, I have this to say: Post again, ‘lady,’ and I’ll post who you are.

If this was over spamming, imagine what I’ll do if you really make me flinch — if you scare me.

Now, back to our regular blogging.

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