Christians, Know Thy Neighbor – Thou Shalt Break The Ice With a Lingerie Party

Unlocking the Door, a book from a Christian church group the Activate, is “full of ideas to help make the Christian faith real to friends and neighbours in ways that might never involve crossing the threshold of a church.”

Authored by Rev Jan Harney, a Church of England cleric in Manchester (who also works for Activate), the book is a way for Christians to relax with “cringe-free activities” and have fun getting to know people before trying to convert them.

All the ideas in the book challenge Christians to relate to the real world in a secular society where the basics of Christianity are generally unknown.

Among the ideas are “break the ice with a lingerie party.”

The Rev Jan Harney says:

“I have not conducted a lingerie party myself, but when Bridget Jones was all the rage I know that some Christian groups were holding knickers parties,” she said. “To be honest, I am not sure what happened at those. Nobody has told me.

“But I have held chocolate parties, at which a group of us might watch a film on the theme of chocolate, or make chocolate sweets or play chocolate-inspired games.

“I also like pamper parties, when we can enjoy a massage or a manicure or try beauty products. I will always end the party with a five-minute period of reflection, a sort of thought for the day. It is a way to get to know people who will never normally go near a church.”

The book is also backed by the Bishop of Bolton, the Rt Rev David Gillett:

“They are the modern version of the Tupperware party and they are a natural way for women to meet. They can lead to a discussion of themes such as Adam and Eve and relations between people and God.”

You can read the book here.

Overall, it’s a sound plan — minus that “then convert them” part. Why not just enjoy and know thy neighbor? Why must any interaction lead to conversion?
Knowing this is the methodology (and believe me, I’ve had that ‘joy’ in person too often), makes any and all activities anything but “cringe-free” for me.

For said attempts to convert me, I’ve posted some panties and boxers with themes and humor less-than welcome at any of these “ice-breaking events”; if you like them, click the picks to find out more &/or buy them.

Here’s the company’s Christian panty FAQ page where gems like this can be found:

How do I know if the message on my panties is working?
If he’s close enough to read your Christian Panties, he’s already on his knees – so start spreading, the Gospel, that is.

My panties don’t seem to be working, what should I do?
The most common error in the wearing of Miss Poppy’s Christian panties is the presence of distracting “sideburns.” Please be sure to shave or wax your bikini line, because ladies, some of you are beginning to look a little like ZZ Top. The Good Book says,

For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
I Corinthians 11:6

Miss Poppy’s Christian Panties do not count as a “covering,” so get rid of that unsightly hair and let the message of salvation come through loud and clear!

My husband keeps “borrowing” my underwear – what should I do?

Christian panties come in sizes in sizes small, medium and large, so buy him some of his own – a pair for every day of the week! He’ll love you for it.

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