While this is not a regular occurrence, I’ve done so a few times. To my knowledge nothing ‘different’ or exotic is done — this is our regular hot husband-wife sex and my mind was blown in the same ways it always is with us. But occasionally, I squirt.
While Sundahl and RWSRN would likely be thrilled for me, I can’t say I am. Nor am I thrilled with this whole matter of squirting heralded as “the better orgasm.”
Based on RWSRN’s phrasings (which I which I could share with you), I’m a bit concerned he’s interested with female ejaculation for all the wrong reasons.
My feelings on this may be colored, tainted, by a few things. Certainly I am still frustrated by this man’s behavior, but I think I can manage to share and convey the thoughts and ideas without shooting the messenger. After all, he’s not the female ejaculation expert here. But I’m a feminist. Yeah, one of those feminists who is a bit attitudinal when a man starts telling me how my body should work.
When RWSRN or Fanny Fatale or whoever tells me that squirting is the only true female orgasm, that any other orgasm especially those arrived at by clitoral stimulation are not as good — that this is just overstimulating us and missing The True Cathartic Release — well, I get a bit pissed. At him and at her for putting these ideas in his head.
RWHRN claims that Sundahl jokingly says Freud may have been right about after all — lots of Googling, and none of that shows up in Sundahl’s mouth. (It may be in her books or workshops or something, but nothing that I could find.) However, I find any jokes about Freud and sexuality to be anything but funny; I find them threatening actually.
Like those who told me I was crazy not to enjoy clitoral stimulation, that I must be the only freak whose wiring made it not only possible but preferable for me to be penetrated to orgasm. Yeah, I wanna be fucked in my cunt, not have my clit sucked and buzzed — that’s just foreplay to me. For years I thought I was a freak and suffered through male ministrations just so no one would know what a freak I was.
No one can or should tell me what orgasms are best for me. No one should be the judge of another’s orgasm.
Some might think I’d jump up and down that finally someone gets that penetration is the way to go (or come), but in my mind I see some woman who suffers with the ol’ in-and-out because she’s afraid to be the only freak wired wrong who needs clitoral stimulation for her rocket to go off. No, I don’t want to be responsible for that. And neither should any other person — let alone a sex educator.
How the hell can anyone grade another person’s orgasm? Just because you can see or measure the liquid doesn’t mean that this orgasm was better than the ‘dry’ ones. When RWSRN mentioned that one squirting orgasm was worth more than multiples — when he scoffed at my usual orgasms — I was quite distraught and indignant. How can he proclaim anything about my orgasms? How can he even guess about what I like in general let alone something as personal as an orgasm? I may sound angry at RWSRN, but really I’m just asking…
If, as he states, Ms. Sundahl makes these statements I will be very angry with her because she has no idea of my orgasms, my pleasure or my preferences.
This isn’t some pissing contest — and statements like ‘female ejaculation is the better orgasm’ will just lead to squirting for distance contests. Shut-up.
Which leads me back to the whole ‘why men like squirting’ thing. Squirting is more comparable to the male orgasm — you can’t fake it (at least not in real life). So many men prefer squirters, it’s proof of a job well done. “No woman fakes it with this cowboy!”
Oh, please. Your ‘concern for my happiness and satisfaction’ really just amounts to bragging rights.
If men were really so interested in making sure she had a good time, he’d do everything she liked — including talking to her about her fantasies before they were in bed, and believing her when she said what she likes and what works for her, even if it’s not what the latest sex fashion says.
If he had to ask how he was, he’d believe her when she answered; and if he only rated a B, he’d work for an A next time. No excuses, no whimpering and no guilt. Then women wouldn’t feel the need to lie in order to spare those delicate male egos.
My greatest fear regarding squirting is the male reaction that ‘she should squirt’ or else… With the ‘or else’ being something is wrong with her, or wrong with his technique. Penetration will be ‘the way to have good sex’ and all women must squirt to show their orgasms and male sexual adequacy.
Like all those men who used my clit like an elevator button thinking the harder and more often they pressed the button, the faster it would come, I don’t like to imagine the number of women who would prefer external pleasure to internal probing but must tolerate such acts because otherwise they are broken. Or deal with his ego issues.