One of the readers of this blog, Michelle, sent in an erotic story with a crossdressing theme for me to publish here. The story was wonderful (and it will be published here), but even more wonderful was the conversation we had. Michelle’s graciously given me permission to share our conversation here — and we both hope that rest of you reading will (with as much grace and honesty) add to the conversation.
Below is my complete email to Michelle, minus salutations and comments on the story (for that would ruin things, wouldn’t it? I’ve already been enough of a tease!), with Michelle’s replies added in. I wanted to post my email in its entirety first, then add her replies, just as our conversation went, but I felt those with short attention spans (and most web-readers qualify!) wouldn’t keep reading.
Here is the shortest version I could bring you without diluting the conversation:
You know, Michelle, I’ve never given CD much thought before this blog. I knew of it, and had no problems with it, but never really thought about it until I started receiving comments and emails at this blog… I had been thinking of doing one of my ‘theme weeks’ or something on the subject, but have decided not to do so — not because of any ‘turn off’ factors (mine or in anticipation of anti-comments — snots, I can delete and ignore), but because a week seems sort of silly when apparently, many of my blog readers are CD folks. What’s a week gonna mean?
You’re right about that, this is a lifelong thing, not just for a week. To paraphrase Mark Twain; “Giving up crossdressing is easy; I personally have done it hundreds of times”. I still don’t know quite know why I do it, although I enjoy it tremendously.
So, now, what to do about that, right? I mean I don’t want to pander to anyone or audience (I started this blog to express my love of lingerie and not ‘for’ anyone in particular), but the fact is that many of those who ‘talk’ to me at this blog, other lingerie fans, are crossdressers. And I like talking lingerie, dammit, so I figure why not be more inclusive and talk with those who are talking?
True again, but many women are disgusted or dismissive of men who dress in lingerie. Trouble is, we’re arguing from different premises. Women get to wear this stuff any time, any day. We CD’s make it an occasion, something special. Too many women also assume that all crossdressers are automatically gay, which is very narrow-minded. But, as one woman wrote, the world “gets” gays and lesbians, but we just don’t “get” crossdressing.
But realizing that I am no expert (as I admitted here), I don’t want to act like I am. Nor do I want to be exclusionary — I mean I excerpt m/f erotica, so why not CD stories as well? (I’m not saying I’d publish yours — or any one’s — without permission; we can get to that later lol)
I went to this blog entry and I love your open attitude. Very empathetic treatment of a difficult subject.
My point is with all this babbling, that I’d like to ask your thoughts and opinions…
Do you think discussing CD more openly on the blog would be a good thing?
Yes, yes, and yes. Your acceptance would be very welcome. It’s not fatal, you can’t catch it, it’s just part of what many, many people do. I loved your piece on Johnny Depp; must watch that movie.
And if I did, would you participate (or participate more often, as the case may be)?
How can I say no? Again, your open and non-judgmental attitude makes all the difference. And heck, let’s have a laugh while we’re at it — keep the whole tone lighthearted. Life can be short and ugly, we all need fantasy because reality sucks. Next to my grandkids (5 of them) dressing is probably the most fun I have. Golf comes close, though.
If I do discuss CD more often, including stories etc, is there anything I should know? For example, do those who crossdress like to see photos of the same, or is is more sensory and not so visual? Is seeing a woman in lingerie just as fine? If I don’t post those pics, would I be sending an anti-message?
As a practicing CD, I don’t like to see other men in drag. I think that’s a pretty widespread sentiment. It helps to destroy the fantasy, since in our heads we’re all J-Lo or Catherine Deneuve or whoever. I have taken a self-hypnosis course and use it regularly to help my transformation. There’s a wonderful saying, “the best fantasies are always in the mind” but it continues, “and should STAY there”. Oops.
I don’t expect you to speak for ‘all CD people’ ;) But most of those who state they are CD either seem reluctant to share very much — and you sent a story ;) Plus, I don’t want to get into the gay thing. Not that I dislike gay men (man, I sound like an idiot in this email!), but sex with men is gay, bi at best or a gender issue. Men who like to wear women’s things and love sex with women; those seem to be fewer or less vocal… What I am trying to say is that lesbian, gay, bi, whatever is welcome. CD is welcome. But I don’t want to discuss sexuality, orientation, gender and all that. I mainly want to talk lingerie! (stomps foot)
I fully agree, SlipofaGirl (you really must tell me your name sometime soon) and would merely advise that you set those rules up-front. Then, if we don’t abide by them, we don’t appear in your pages.
So, while sex is tied up in lingerie and I am happy to acknowledge that, I do not want to become a sex focused site like that. (I go to Sex-Kitten.net for that and do enjoy it, but I am all about lingerie here!) This subject has me worrying that I’m going to offend ‘everyone’; lesbians for no girl-girl action in lingerie etc. I’m not anti anything (consensual), but I just wanted to dish about lingerie & I don’t want to open a can of whoop-ass, ya know? ;)
You write “Sex is tied up in lingerie”; now is that a Freudian slip or what? Hmmm, let me call my shrink… this is an aside, but lingerie and bondage is a fascinating side-road, one which I often take. For males, lingerie is both inherently luxurious and forbidden-fruit, but also vulnerable and socially demeaning. Enter bondage right on cue, stage right, carrying a whip as well.
Ahem, coming reluctantly back to your to address your issue, I don’t think you will offend anyone by providing a forum and offering some intelligent discussion. There’s a lot of dirt on the web, not enough good, honest, friendly debate. I believe you can fill that gap. Heck, I can talk lingerie all day.
In our modern world of Aids and other STDs the ultimate safe-sex is talk and self-eroticism, so you’re right with it.
I thank you, in advance for your honesty on this — and for reading it! It turned out to be a blog entry by itself, didn’t it? lol (Hmm, it still may be a blog entry… But I shall wait for your comments to decide that lol)
Can I say that I’m more impressed? I don’t want that to sound condescending, so please don’t take it that way. My personal dream is the one I wrote in my story — to meet a woman (I’m straight, but what is that?) who will treat me like the character Alex does. Including, sorry, f–me in the butt. But not a man, please.
(And if you don’t reply, I shall hate you for ever! neener neener)
Obviously, Michelle did reply, so I need not hate her. ;) But now, readers, it’s your turn to reply.
You may have questions, comments about your preferences, &/or concerns that Slip of a Girl is becoming just another pandering sex blog (shudder to think!) and if you do, post a (civil and sane) comment/question or email me.
I’m all about being open & honest about lingerie — just like erotica, crossdressing is a part of it. Orientation, gender identity & assignment, race, religion, height, weight, sex, politics, whatever it is that’s ‘an issue’ is acceptable here if it’s in the context of dishing lingerie.
Dishing lingerie, that’s what I’m here for; how about you?