"Ironic Lingerie"

Warning: Erotic story excerpt!

“Now then,” she began with mock sobriety in her voice, her eyes all the while gleaming with mirth. “We wished to discuss ‘ironic lingerie,’ yes?”

“Yes indeed,” I answered my own voice a husky cocktail of anticipation and curiosity.

“Excellent,” said Adrienne in her clipped, professional manner. “First, what would you say is the primary role of underpants?”

I believe this was the first time in my life I had been confronted with this question. But I was a good student. Eager to play along with Adrienne’s little skit, I put up my hand.

“Yes?” She was calling on me.

“Well,” I began, “Underpants, nowadays, are often considered sexy . . . .”

“Remember,” she interrupted, “I said the primary role.” Her tone was gentle but determined. And behind the serious voice, her expression continued to glisten with a madcap wit.

“I guess I’d say that the primary role is to clothe one’s — er — genitals,” I ventured.

Adrienne’s eyes enlarged with passion. “Exactly.”

She stepped toward me. “Speaking for myself, as a woman . . . my underpants serve, primarily, to clothe my cunt.” She licked her lips after the sacred word passed across them, as if it were a morsel of savory food.

The tension of pleasurable expectation had by now spread from my mind to my crotch. And the magic word cunt, spoken by Adrienne, acted as the psychological equivalent of a soft kiss across the head of my cock. I twitched in my trousers.

Adrienne took another step forward, a dramatic vision of logic, loveliness, and sexual electricity. She resumed her show-and-tell speech.

“Wouldn’t it be ironic, then, if my underpants left this very thing . . .” With a graceful, perhaps rehearsed, motion, she flung off the lab coat. “Exposed.”

Adrienne posed for me, topless, her long black hair wild against her bare shoulders and her diminutive breasts flushed and alive. All she wore was an exquisite pair of . . . .

Crotchless panties. Of course, I thought. Crotchless panties! An article of cunt-concealing clothing which, paradoxically, left the cunt itself magnificently exposed. Ironic, indeed. And erotic, for sure.

I thought I might come in my pants, the effect was so sexy. And she hadn’t even opened her legs yet…

Now, that is ironic lingerie!

An excerpt, used with permission, from Adrienne’s Ironic Lingerie, by Jeremy Edwards (as published at Tit-Elation).

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